tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-122357882012-02-16T08:42:46.111-05:00A fine way to waste time at the office, revel in another's misery or just keep tabs on everyone's favorite English teacher.English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.comBlogger301100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-29522007642868932162009-02-20T08:33:00.007-05:002009-02-22T11:32:34.440-05:00

It's time again for the most self-congratulatory 232 minutes of the year! I'm obviously referring to the Oscars, since my obsession with movies knows no bounds. Since I feel like absolute ass--we always get sick on our weeks off, don't we?--I'll keep this short and to the point. Here are my picks and my Dark Horses:Actor in a Leading Role: This is remarkable close to call. Rourke and Penn

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-46131209009630699852008-09-30T22:28:00.006-04:002008-10-01T08:09:16.816-04:00

If you're here looking for a list of all 478 Rude Awakenings, please look elsewhere. You gotta live a bit on your own and figure them out for yourself. Which, I suppose, is much the point I am trying to make.Oh, damn. I've gone and stated Blog Entry Thesis Number 329. Yes, I have no less than 328 other ideas I'd love to blog about, but that accursed thing called Real Life gets in the way more

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-52575683897070636592008-09-11T16:01:00.003-04:002008-09-11T18:36:28.018-04:00

I haven't updated for a while. The new school year has begun, so I'm rather busy attempting to remember names. Actively pining for some of the folks that have left takes up a bit of time too.Some nifty tidbits to hold you over until I feel inspired (read: bored with a few drinks in me) enough to tailor another brilliant entry.Educational Irony of the Month: Students at the University of Texas

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-31025197775470666872008-04-20T13:23:00.005-04:002008-04-20T22:24:58.760-04:00

Mrs. ETE (that's Mrs. English Teacher Extraordinaire, for you slow ones) and I were drinking some wine and watching Silverado a few nights ago. It's a nifty resurrection of the Western by Lawrence Kasdan and company, starring a whole bunch of people you'd know if you saw the movie. It's a lot of fun, so by all means see it if you haven't. Regardless, as we're watching Scott Glenn ride across

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-20195586793495277152008-02-24T11:56:00.006-05:002008-02-24T13:33:21.558-05:00

Last night I returned home from six days in Paris, which will be the subject of a longer post when I am once again soaked in vin rouge and longing for the City of Light.Although that will probably be in about 15 minutes, I won't be writing that post today. Sorry kids.Today it's all about my favorite exercise in self-veneration: The Academy Awards! Teaching a film class has allowed me to wallow

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-38447164096743968202008-01-22T09:28:00.001-05:002008-01-29T18:36:50.578-05:00

Just a quick update this time.Saw There Will Be Blood this weekend. Without question, it belongs on my "Best Films of 2007" list. It's an epic, brilliant, unremittingly bleak film that stands among the finest achievements in contemporary American filmmaking. Daniel Day-Lewis gives one of the greatest performances I have ever seen as Daniel Plainview, a brutal, unstoppable force of greed (and

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-15334124309027326952008-01-19T00:15:00.000-05:002008-01-19T23:18:06.482-05:00

It should be obvious what "movie" I saw just before writing this entry. Frankly, if you don't know what this post is about--navigate away. Now. Especially since there be spoilers here!So, as anyone with a brain knows by now, I saw Cloverfield tonight. Maybe I should replace "saw" with "sat through", because most of my time in the theater was spent turning to my wife to share a mutual, muted "

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-67237470097886336202008-01-06T16:25:00.000-05:002008-01-17T20:16:31.733-05:00

Well lookee here! My first post of 2008. I know most of you have probably been dreaming about this moment; waiting, wondering, gazing at the Heavens shouting "When, God, when?!?!?!? When will he post? Doesn't he know that I base my entire value structure upon his musings? My moral compass cannot find magnetic north without him! Make him write, dammit!" Fear not, gentle readers, I am alive and

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-74978988090141857982007-12-30T15:05:00.001-05:002007-12-30T16:38:02.553-05:00

For Christmas this year, I got one of 'dem new-fangled Nike+ thingamabobbers for my iPod. If you're not familiar with what I mean, it goes a little like this. You buy some special "Nike+" shoes that have a small cavity under their insole. In this small cavity, you can store things like, oh, a dime bag, a few grams of cocaine, 3-6 MDMA pills, whatever you need to get the party rolling. Let me

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-10538747752399850692007-10-13T16:03:00.001-04:002007-10-19T18:44:13.267-04:00

If there's a list of "100 Great Things to Wake Up To", I'm sure your garage being on fire ranks pretty low. Like maybe at 98--right in front of your house being on fire and someone nailing a six-inch spike through your penis into a board. Ouch. There's an unpleasant thought. Could you imagine waking up to someone nailing a spike through your penis while your bedroom was on fire? Talk about a

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-44232612304343215112007-10-07T11:16:00.000-04:002007-10-07T11:43:49.877-04:00

Given that my last post proved to be such a lighting rod for soul-searching discourse and heartfelt sympathy, I've decided to revert to my flippant, pointless blogging that says nothing of any import. Feel better? I know I do.Ever take one of those silly little online surveys that is supposed to distill your entire essence as a human being into a catch-phrase that begins with "You are..."? I

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-84324663295318639642007-09-21T17:09:00.000-04:002007-09-27T22:13:03.335-04:00

If you've come looking for a chuckle or a little pick-me-up, point that browser elsewhere, my friend. The post title should tip you off to that little fact. If you've got some misery and it's looking for a bit of company, read on.I never paid much attention to the whole concept of "workplace morale". To me, morale only mattered in situations where you might live or die; where flight was a viable

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-2072266144192589312007-09-17T17:44:00.000-04:002007-09-17T18:19:50.555-04:00

Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!! OK, now that I've managed to work in a quote from a David Lynch film, I can proceed to the actual content of this post. Whenever I feel like posting something and can't think of a topic, or I don't feel like posting something personal, I check good 'ole "mine". I just know she'll have something fun for me to steal. And she does!So here it is, my list of

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-12807423800589738362007-08-10T21:59:00.002-04:002007-08-11T01:47:18.587-04:00

How the hell do I get roped into this shit? Probably because everyone has a little bit of showboat in them. And I get bored easily. And I like putting off shit I actually have to do.So here it goes....1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts. The sad, sad facts that we should hide from all humanity...2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves. Wait.

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-74095058087327608952007-08-06T23:29:00.001-04:002007-08-07T00:05:18.319-04:00

Everyone reading this (all two of you) need to know that I am drinking single-barrel bourbon while writing it. Which probably explains a lot. But it's also a caveat in case this comes off as total bullshit. Oh, wait. Most of my posts do. Never mind.Why bother with that kind of detail? Well, duh. Look at the fucking title of the post. I mean...really. I just pinned the hopes and dreams

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-92133154972505653602007-08-03T09:24:00.000-04:002007-08-04T21:51:48.487-04:00

I was going to write a very deep and profound post about spirituality, fulfillment and the use of religious texts as control. I was going to draw on my considerable experience working with people and studying literature to raise thought-provoking questions about who we are and why we do the things we do. I'm not ready to write that post yet. I think it's still gestating in my head. Instead,

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-59416820718315261292007-06-30T11:12:00.001-04:002007-06-30T11:38:05.137-04:00

OK, maybe that title's a little harsh. I can't even claim credit for it; I stole it from another guy's website. But I've decided to post about some of the, well, differences that make men and woman so, at times, incompatible. All right. Differences my ass. Here's the real deal:Things Women Do That Men Hate, Volume I:One of the main sources of friction between woman and men is that men,

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-91559822138066937072007-06-24T12:33:00.000-04:002007-06-24T13:07:15.285-04:00

Every movie this hack has ever made has sucked. Cabin Fever? What the hell was that movie supposed to be? A horror film? A comedy? A surrealist commentary on the survival instinct?Oh, no. None of the above. It's just a rotten piece of schlock horror that is too busy being derivative of far better films to bother coming up with something unique for itself. And those "comic" asides are so

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-43897409784040073972007-05-13T10:56:00.001-04:002008-04-20T17:41:08.798-04:00

Much obliged to the so-hot-I'd-give-up-seven-of-my-fingers-if-God-would-let-me-nail-her (never mind with the obvious comments) Lysa for putting up with my more-than-likely-alcohol-induced senility and RE-sending these questions to me. And much obliged to anyone who is still reading, as you have put up with more hyphenated adjectives than most human beings see in their entire lifetimes. Lysa has

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-29818408502700139332007-04-22T12:43:00.000-04:002007-04-22T13:47:53.203-04:00

I had my final observation this year. It was of the "unannounced" variety, where one of our illustrious administrators comes into our classroom *gasp!* without a pre-observation conference. We of the staff refer to this as the "pop-in" observation, due to the fact that the administrator just "pops-in" to your classroom. Get it? Pop-in? Maybe it's just not as funny as we imagine it is. Hey,

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-1175721978221051682007-04-04T17:23:00.001-04:002008-04-20T17:36:29.480-04:00

I received this email today:"It is with the greatest of sadness and heaviest of hearts I am to inform you; Sherman passed away today. Sherman would have turned 16 on April 27th.Sherman has lived a wonderful life, surrounded by many kind and caring people. I am fortunate to have been with so many generous people who took Sherman into their lives and enriched his. Sherman touched many lives

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-1175474179401648562007-04-01T19:54:00.000-04:002007-04-08T19:14:34.793-04:00

So it's been one year, eight months and a day since I posted anything. I'd like to say that there's been great doings in my life, like I've cured cancer or invented the longer-lasting light bulb or calorie-free alcohol. Sadly, I've simply been lazy. Gee, how surprising.Teaching continues...still without a contract. Which really isn't as out-of-the-ordinary as you might imagine. A man once

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-1120759959319090822005-07-31T00:24:00.000-04:002007-04-01T19:50:48.996-04:00

"Today I went to court for a speeding ticket in which i should have lost my lisence. Amazingly we got it pusehd down to a non-moving violation and a $110 fine. Hoorah right? well everyone gets what they deserve because i go home and realize that i left my purse at the court house. Went back, its gone. So i get to keep my lisence [sic] but not really becasue someone took it upon themself to keep

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-1120740928723465902005-07-07T08:06:00.000-04:002005-07-07T08:55:28.730-04:00

A friend of mine has a theory on blogs. She has a theory on most everything but there's no need to delve into that particular fact just yet. She tells us:"There are a few types of blogs. The two that specifically ring out in my head are the kinds packed with political or social commentary and the others are the day-to-day ramblings, rantings, craving, fluff and thoughts of the masses. I wish

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-1120403431250324082005-07-03T10:39:00.000-04:002005-07-03T11:10:31.260-04:00

A week ago Saturday I went to a graduation party for a former student. If you're like most of my friends, you're wondering why I dragged my ass out of bed at 6AM on a Saturday (my first official Saturday of summer, I might add) and drove 6 hours across the state to hang out with a high school student and her family. Well, dammit: because I said I would. And, quite frankly, because I really

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-1120401517458546682005-07-03T10:19:00.000-04:002005-07-03T10:38:37.466-04:00

My brother got himself a rabbit. In a stunning stoke of inspiration and creativity, he named it Thumper. We keep waiting for the Feds to break in any day and seize the little shit (the rabbit, not my brother) due to copyright infringement. You can see the little guy to the left, lounging in the "rabbit chair" my wife bought for him. What you don't see is five minutes later, when Thumper tore that

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-1120400342791299762005-07-03T10:00:00.000-04:002005-07-03T10:19:02.800-04:00

So maybe I haven't posted anything in months. I doubt this site has a very large fan base so I doubt anyone has missed me much. Hell, I haven't even missed me much. But I've been kinda busy. The wife and I bought a house. We haven't closed yet, so we don't technically own it. Our mood can best be described as "cautious excitement". Honestly, that's horseshit. My mood can be best described as "

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-1113948959667564112005-04-19T17:49:00.001-04:002008-04-20T17:28:00.615-04:00

To catch a kid who plagiarizes. It's really mind-boggling why they do it in the first place. Does a 9th grader (or, God forbid, upperclassman) actually think their teacher is stupid enough not to catch them? Wait..with some of the people I've worked with that may be true. Let me rephrase. Do these twits actually think I'M that stupid? Like they're a 70-ish writer for the school year, then the

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-1113768854918023032005-04-17T15:52:00.000-04:002005-04-17T22:11:46.406-04:00

This is getting to be ridiculous. You see, you start off all excited. You're like "Yeah! I'm gonna own a house! I can have wild parties and not get in trouble! I can jump up and down on my bed in the nude while singing 'Me and Julio' at the top of my lungs without the asshole downstairs pounding on the roof and telling me to shut the fuck up! I can..." well, you get the idea.Your idealism wanes

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12235788.post-1113743329539740772005-04-17T09:06:00.000-04:002005-04-17T11:12:54.920-04:00

"You know...that a blank wall is an apalling thing to look at. The wall of a museum -- a canvas -- a piece of film -- or a guy sitting in front of a typewriter. Then, you start out to do something -- that vague thing called creation. The beginning strikes awe within you."-Edward SteichenYeah, how's that for shameless theft of a title card. A better question would be why on earth I'd want to be

English Teacher Extraordinairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12993925903989806696noreply@blogger.com0