Friday, August 10, 2007

I'll Most Certainly NOT Keep you my Dirty Little Secret

How the hell do I get roped into this shit? Probably because everyone has a little bit of showboat in them. And I get bored easily. And I like putting off shit I actually have to do.

So here it goes....

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts. The sad, sad facts that we should hide from all humanity...
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves. Wait...players? More like victims. "Playing" implies winning or losing. This all seems like losing to me.
3. People who are tagged write their own blog post about their eight things and include these "rules". I am..
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged and that they should read your blog. Wait...since I'll be violating this "rule", does that mean that I'm automatically going to Hell? Oh, wait. Too late.

1. I sometimes load up random MySpace pages to listen to people's music while I do whatever it was I was doing online. Yep. You read that right. So score some sweet music and hope I stalk your page. I'm doing it right now, too.

2. I have a deep-seated hatred for people who drink White Zinfandel. My hatred is entrenched, and I nourish it daily. This goes for all people who refuse to drink dry wines. This also covers people who drink "wine products". Not because they drink them, mind you. Drink whatever the fuck you want. Only because they incessantly refer to them as "wine". Please stop producing beverages, Arbor Mist. You're ruining a generation of future wine-drinkers.

3. I also have a deep-seated hatred for people who use words/phrases they have no understanding of. At this point you may be wondering why I've misspelled "deep-seeded". If so--I hate you. The phrase has nothing to do with where you fucking PLANTED shit. It's about how things are SEATED in your consciousness. This goes for all you fuckers who wear t-shirts and don't understand what they mean. I'm talking to all you "Atticus" assholes who don't know why there's a dead bird on your shirt. Fuck you.

4. Every SINGLE year at my current job, I've wondered if I've made the right career choice. Sure, I can rationalize about how AWESOME my retirement will be, and how it's great that I have every weekend and holiday--and a bunch of other days--off. But does that really ameliorate the shit salary; the daily drudgery of a bunch of little fucks who squander the greatest gift God, or whatever you believe in, gave them; the sense of entitlement some kids have handed down from their parents; or the administrative bullshit we have to endure? Do you even know what "ameliorate" means? Shit, I gave you a damn link...

5. I've learned that sometimes, one single student can justify and reinvigorate your entire existence as a teacher. It's even better when there's more than one in a single year.

6. If I had the choice: die in my bed 90 years from now surrounded by many, many grandkids and a family guaranteed to carry on my name for all Eternity -OR- willingly sacrifice my life in a great battle where the fate of the World hung in the balance...there's no question that I would go the way of the Spartan.

7. I'll cry for movies and novels...but not for real life. I can't remember the last time I cried because of something that happened in the real word (that's a big, fat lie. But it's none of your business, Anonymous Blog Stalker). But I sure can remember when I last cried for a fictional character. This raises some interesting questions...

8. I hate surveys like this. Mainly because they force me to think about issues I WILL NOT write about on a public forum like the Internet. Who reads this thing? I know students do...but I don't know exactly which. Or do I? Is it the fact that I know PRECISELY who reads this that leads me to not write about certain things? Or is it the fact that I don't know who reads it? Or am I worried about my adult readership? It's all a wonderful game, isn't it?

So...the tagging part.'s the issue. Who the heck can I tag? The only two blogs I have bookmarked have already done it. Is there some mad glut of students, inspired by my rush of honesty, who are willing to post their blog URLs as comments and beg to be tagged? Hardly. Shit, if they listen to half the crap I say in class, they've already hidden their blogs as "private", available only to "friends". Bummer--there are some I'd LOVE to read. If they even have them. So I got nothing.

Just the hope that someone out there gets something out of my rantings.


Anonymous said...

I don't have a blog.

However, I am judging you silently.


mineIsay said...

Excellent! For the record, I don't care that you hate these because it keeps you writing. Expect more.

Bridget said...

comment comment comment comment!